Comments on: Deep POV questions and answers

By: Trisha Puddle

Trisha Puddle — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:12:29 +0000

I agree, ‘his dad’ sounds better for that sentence.

I sometimes have a problem working out how to refer to a parent when there is another adult in the scene. It’s quite challenging sometimes, for me anyway.

When I get stuck again, I’ll post it on here.:)

By: Jordan

Jordan — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 22:10:20 +0000

An update, if anyone is still interested—I’ve revised my former thinking once I rephrased it in terms of how I’d tell the story out loud in first person. Unless I was telling it to my sisters, I’d say “my dad.” So “his dad” is my final answer .

By: Jordan

Jordan — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:47:35 +0000

@Trisha—Okay, that makes sense, then. If it’s an expression that she thinks of as “my sad little smile,” then that’s great deep POV (hard to do these things out of context sometimes!). Congrats on the new granddaughter!

On my question—for the most part, I’ve come down on the side of “Dad,” but I still wasn’t sure about it, and then I came across a place where my WIP said “his dad.” But I think in that context (comparing his dad, who isn’t around, to the guy who’s about to give him a lecture), “his dad” might actually work better, and “Dad” would be awkward. Maybe it’s another context issue!

By: Trisha Puddle

Trisha Puddle — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 13:16:36 +0000

Thanks for the advice, Jordan and Eileen. ‘The sad little smile’ was supposed to be Molly’s sorrowful expression that she does on purpose. She knows she’s in trouble, but feels justified. In the previous chapters, the reader knows what she’s done and why she did it, and should want her to be able to see Furble the bandicoot again. They know she’s not in the wrong, but her mother doesn’t believe her.

I love your question, Jordan. I have the same worry about using ‘her dad’ or just ‘Dad’. I’ve changed it a few times, but can’t decide which one is best. At the moment I’m using her father, but you’ve got me thinking about Deep POV and this question. I’m going to go and think about it.

Sorry for the late response. I’ve been away for two weeks. (I had to go interstate to see my beautiful new granddaughter.)

Thanks again. I’ve missed this blog.

By: Jordan

Jordan — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 02:50:34 +0000

LOL. “I told you something this heavy couldn’t fly!”

Bernoulli’s principle = a fast moving flow (of air) has a lower pressure than a slow moving one. It’s what creates lift. (It’s also what makes that funny noise when you blow air between loose lips.)