Okay, this’ll be the last for a while. Today I’m participating in Secret Story’s Bar Scene Blogfest.
Set up: Special Agent Zach Saint is undercover as a Catholic priest after the parish mob murdered the last priest. This is his first week in the parish, and he’s joined one of the parish mobsters (Cally Lonegan) at the local bar. Zach doesn’t drink. Ever.
The bartender placed fresh glasses in front of Zach and Cally Lonegan. Zach took a tentative sip of his; it was bitter and alcohol-free as his last four drinks. Lonegan had guzzled 90-proof gin as fast as Zach could down his tonic and limes.
Lonegan reached for his tumbler, but looked away at the last second. The momentary distraction was timed perfectly for Lonegan to knock the glass over and spill the juniper-based spirit in Zach’s lap.
Great. Sighing, Zach grabbed a towel from across the bar to mop up the mess. Oblivious, Lonegan was busy flagging down a friend. “Doyle!” Even with the crowd, his shout was twenty decibels too loud. But it wasn’t the shouting that had Zach’s attention—was this Murphy?
Before he looked around, the full case file flashed through Zach’s mind. The crime scene photos of the last underling Murphy had had executed sprang to the forefront. He turned to follow Lonegan’s gaze.
Eyeing Zach, a man who carried his weight like he was used to being obeyed approached the bar. He looked just like his file photo: tall, hefty, and subtly menacing. “What kind of company you keeping now, Cal?”
“Who, this?” He punched Zach in the shoulder harder than necessary. “This is Father Tim. Salt of the Earth, that’s for sure!” Lonegan roared with laughter.
“Doyle Murphy.” The newcomer—the resident mob boss—settled at Zach’s left. Well, that was easier than he expected.
As long as he didn’t end up like the last guy who Murphy didn’t trust. The blood spatter on the sedate floral sofa hung in his mind. The Bureau believed the guy had been an hour late to deliver a shipment.
And then there was Father Patrick.
Zach fought back his racing pulse and shook the mobster’s hand. He’d been this close to vicious killers before. Worked with them, even. But a nagging feeling in his gut said ingratiating himself to this control freak over the next weeks—months, maybe—would be the most dangerous assignment he’d faced yet.
Yes, there’s more to the scene—but that’s where the chapter ends.
As always, read, participate and comment here!
Photo by Silus Grok
Excellent details! You really get into Zach’s mind on this one! Great job!
Ohh! Very intriguing. I like your style.
Very tense and detailed. A nice scene.
I can’t imagine how hard it would be to fake being a priest. That’s a really interesting premise!
The thing is that I feel like the men should defer to the Priest a bit more…after all, he has the ear of God. So spilling something on a Priest is akin to a major sin. I think if I were in a bar and saw a man of the cloth, I’d give him a decent berth and keep an eye out for him. But then if they are there to talk about criming, then you’d think they would abandon the priest and talk amongst themselves. I dunno.
Anyways, it does make me interested to see what’s going to happen. Can he keep his cover? Will they confess their sins to him? And if they do, can he really use it against them? Nice premise.
Great details, great description. Very cool that he’s impersonating a priest.
Thanks, everybody! Glad you enjoyed it 😀 !
@Andrew—Um, I assume you’re joking about spilling something on a priest being a major sin, especially since Cally had no idea he did it. I’ve consulted heavily with my Catholic CP on this book—yes, priests are priests, but they’re just regular guys, too. (And like I said, apparently they killed their last priest. At this point in the story, it looks like the last priest had been laundering money for the mob, so it’s a pretty cozy relationship. You always kill the ones you love, you know.) Cally isn’t there to meet Doyle—Cally invited FT to the bar earlier that day (the previous scene).
I have no idea.
I’m not of the Catholic persuasion so I may be just blowing smoke.
I can only look at the text in front of me…I don’t have the context.
I don’t really have religiousical characters in my stories so I don’t think about it much.
Oh, I know you can only go on what’s presented here. I was just trying to fill in a little of the context to clarify.