Tag Archives: story department

Story department!

A while ago, I posted about a story department for writers, like that of a Hollywood movie studio. Basically, it’s a place where we can find help identifying weaknesses, brainstorming new ideas, making the jokes better, getting the story structure right and more.

How this works:

The lucky volunteer submits whatever s/he wants help with: this could be the seed of an idea if you’re in the brainstorming phase, a query-length blurb if you’re looking for more specific brainstorming help or stuck in between plot points, a synopsis if you want structural advice, or even a scene or passage if you can’t quite put your finger on what’s not working. For maximum effectiveness, a short list of what you’re looking for is helpful.

I post the material on the appointed day. Then we, the kind, thoughtful and helpful readers and writers around here, put our minds to work. Think about it all day and come back with an insightful idea, or post the first thing that pops into your head.

Of course, the volunteer author doesn’t have to use anything we toss out—but now s/he isn’t the only one having to think of ideas. And even if we don’t come up with something specific to help the volunteer, maybe something one of us says will spark another idea and the story will take off again, magically healed 😉 . (The volunteer is more than welcome to engage in a discussion, of course, but we probably don’t need a full explanation of just why our ideas won’t work.)

The story

Today, I’m the volunteer again. I’m looking for help with one of those “little ideas,” a scene-level fix.

The setup:

Our bad guy (whom we may call . . . “Tom”) is trying to induce our heroine (“Nina”) to come somewhere with him to save our hero (“Johnny,” Nina’s fiancé). Nina has known Tom for years—and knows him well enough not to trust him. But when Tom shows Nina Johnny’s prized watch (or something else) that he never parts with, she knows something is wrong. Nina allows Tom to drive her car, and they’re leaving the garage at her building when one of her neighbors gets suspicious. When the neighbor starts to call the police, Tom shoots and kills him.

What I’m looking for:

  • A way to keep Nina in the car after the gun goes off. Nina knows better than to go driving off with an armed murderer. I think Tom needs to physically restrain her in the car somehow.
  • I’m also open to suggestions on Johnny’s prized, personally identifiable possession (something he’d be able to function without).
  • If it helps, I think it’s not crucial that they use Nina’s car. (However, the neighbor is more likely to think something weird is going on if Tom’s driving Nina’s car. On the other hand, if you can give a reason for the neighbor to attract Tom’s attention and ire from Tom’s car, I’m open to that)

Want to participate? Jump in the comments! Want to volunteer? Send your material—including what you’re looking for—to storydept at JordanMcCollum.com. I’ll contact you to work out a date.

Original photo by Tom Magliery

Story department

A while ago, I posted about watching the making of Finding Nemo. I really enjoy Pixar’s storytelling skills, so to learn how that story was developed was really interesting.

I was amazed to learn how much work it takes (although I’ve certainly put a lot of work into my own stories)—but not just from one person. Movie studios use entire story departments to help identify weaknesses, brainstorm new ideas, make the jokes better, get the story structure right and more (certainly makes a regular critique group pale in comparison!).

I heard that and thought, “I want that. And I’ll bet I’m not the only one.”

And I thought this would be a great place to do it.

How this works:

The lucky volunteer submits whatever s/he wants help with: this could be the seed of an idea if you’re in the brainstorming phase, a query-length blurb if you’re looking for more specific brainstorming help or stuck in between plot points, a synopsis if you want structural advice, or even a scene or passage if you can’t quite put your finger on what’s not working. For maximum effectiveness, a short list of what you’re looking for is helpful.

I post the material on the appointed day. Then we, the kind, thoughtful and helpful readers and writers around here, put our minds to work. Think about it all day and come back with an insightful idea, or post the first thing that pops into your head.

Of course, the volunteer author doesn’t have to use anything we toss out—but now s/he isn’t the only one having to think of ideas. And even if we don’t come up with something specific to help the volunteer, maybe something one of us says will spark another idea and the story will take off again, magically healed 😉 . (The volunteer is more than welcome to engage in a discussion, of course, but we probably don’t need a full explanation of just why our ideas won’t work.)

The story

Our first volunteer is . . . me, of course! (How would you volunteer if you didn’t know about this? Silly.)

The story idea:

Title: (Uhhh…. I don’t do good titles until I finish first drafts)
Genre: YA paranormal


Sixteen-year-old Lacey Pratt already knew she wasn’t the kind of girl who got a lot of attention—a fact that’s driven home she starts hearing others’ thoughts. Her new telepathic abilities are overwhelming at first, but Lacey soon realizes how she can best use her abilities: to finally make James, her long-time crush, notice her.

And it actually works. But soon after they start dating, James is murdered—and someone is thinking Lacey’s next. Now she must discover others like her and learn how to really use her powers for good if she’s going to stay alive.

What I’m looking for:

  • Feedback on how Lacey should react to discovering her telepathic powers. Initially, I envisioned that as a major thrust of the book, where Lacey thinks she’s developed schizophrenia for the first few chapters. Now I’m not sure that works. Would it be too much (too dark, etc.)?
  • Kind of along those lines: does it sound uneven? Does it start off too light and get too dark?
  • Ideas on structuring the plot (i.e. where to place some of the milestones above).
  • Ideas for other events/scenes—anything that comes to mind with telepathy and high school.
  • There’s actually a lot more to my idea on the “others like her”—but I really don’t want to overload this book and make the first and second parts too disjointed. Do you think the above is enough to sustain one book?
  • And, finally, is it fresh? I’ve been thinking about it so long it feels very old to me (like, I can measure this in years). Has this been done?

Note: this is the same idea that generated the scene for the KissingDayBlogFest, but my latest iteration of the idea makes that scene not work.

Want to participate? Jump in the comments! Want to volunteer? Send your material—including what you’re looking for—to storydept at JordanMcCollum.com. I’ll contact you to work out a date.

Original photo by Tom Magliery

What does it take to make a good story?

Conflict, of course, is a very basic requirement of a good story. But good stories have a lot more going on than arguing (maybe, like, Larry Brooks’s six core competencies of storytelling).

And this isn’t about that.

Earlier this week, I watched the “making of” documentary on the Finding Nemo DVD. While I’m not a huge fan of Disney or Pixar, I’m very impressed by their storytelling (especially Pixar). And the documentary offered some insight into their story process.

The director of Finding Nemo, Andrew Stanton, also wrote the screenplay. So after working on that for a year or so, he brought it to Pixar, where it would be made into a movie.

And they basically started all over.

Andrew points out that when you write something, you believe that it works, functionally, humor-wise, etc., but you don’t really know until you get some outside feedback, usually from multiple sources. This is why we collect critique groups and beta readers.

But instead of those methods (well, Andrew may have used those while writing, but this is after he was “done”), Pixar has a feature that’s fairly common in Hollywood: the story department.

I don’t know if this is totally accurate, but the impression in the documentary was that these people eat your babies take your screenplay, nearly demolish it, and then make it better. They identify weak points, plot holes, character problems and boring scenes, and find ways to fix them.

And then there are more writers, who make the jokes better and refine the dialogue.

And then there are still issues and scenes and places where you get stuck, and all that helps is long stretches of time with someone to talk things through and bounce around ideas, someone who knows the story and the characters as well as you do (and even if we have beta readers, few of us truly have that).

(And then there are the advantages that visual storytelling has that are a little harder to execute in written storytelling: acting, visual cues, setting that can be taken in in nanoseconds, action that requires no description, etc.)

In all, this story took three and a half years to tell. (So sometimes, all that visual stuff isn’t necessarily an advantage.) It shows in the quality—but man, that’s a lot of patience and stick-to-it-iveness to tell one story.

What do you think? How long do you work on a story before it’s “done”?

Photo credits: clown fish—ecatoncheires; hourglass—Tijs Zwinkels