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S is for Show Not Tell Crusader Challenge

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This entry is part 13 of 14 in the series Emotion: it's tough

It’s the last challenge of the Crusade! Here are the rules for the Show Not Tell Crusader Challenge.

And here’s my entry, flash fiction in an urban fantasy setting:

The footsteps echoed in the empty canyon of a city street—more than just my footsteps. I stopped short. The footsteps behind me stuttered to a stop, too. The hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention. The feeling of being watched was as palpable as the brick wall next to me. I caught hold of the rough bricks to steady myself as a current of ice shimmered down my spine.

Though I willed myself to stare at the sky blazing orange, not to give into the terror, I glanced back. It was hard to make out his features in the fading light, but his gaze clearly swung away from—and right back to—me in a sharp, saccadic shift. Tall and unnaturally gaunt, in a long black coat, he gave substance to the shadowy nightmares that had plagued me.

I licked my lips, the salt from my sweat a cruel joke to my empty stomach. The man stepped closer, his eyes still flicking back and away over and over. A sharp, acrid scent filled my senses, a mix of panic, sweat and decay.

I ran.

Hm. Wonder how it ends!

Photo by Kelly Teague

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8 thoughts on “S is for Show Not Tell Crusader Challenge”

  1. Man, everyone’s posts are so creepy – I’m going to be scared all day =) I love the pause right before he looks back to her – totally was holding my breath.

  2. I’ve seen a few today already, they ARE kind of creepy it seems. But then, the prompt was pretty creepy 😀

  3. Yeah, that’s interesting. Thanks for sharing!

    I’m starting up a ‘Critiquing Crusaders’ program, where participants in the Second Crusade can find other writers to exchange critiques with or form critiquing circles. If you’re interested, come by The Kelworth Files to check it out!

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