For some reason, the bad advice—from the mean-spirited to the what-the-crap?!—seems to stay with us so much longer than the good advice. It’s seldom the encouragement or praise that comes ringing back to us in the dark, still hours of the night.

Add to this the fact that I have an obsessive personality, and I’ve taken dwelling on bad advice to a whole new level. Even for stuff that’s flat-out all wrong for my story, I think about it for months on end before I can finally move on and maybe even laugh at how terrible it (and I) was.

For the stuff that’s just off-base, it’s annoying. But for the things that come with that extra note of spite, it’s even harder. This is why I’ve come up with my coping mechanisms—if two other people agree with me, if I can just laugh at it sooner (and laugh at myself), then maybe I can move on faster, right?

Yeah, it’s not so much working—though sometimes when my mind wanders back into the Forest of Remember How Much You Suck?, I can smile.

And then I read the praise-filled emails from my biggest fan/critique partner that I have taped on my wall. (No, seriously—I highly recommend doing this! It’s like getting a big hug every time you read them!)

So, in the spirit of the year dying in the night, how can we let our criticism-fed insecurities (or just the memories of the criticism) fade with it?

Photo credit: Omar