Tag Archives: writing life

Give yourself permission to write!

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Becoming a better writer

It’s my first-ever vlog!

Writing may take time away from your family, friends and other pursuits. If you’re struggling with guilt over devoting time to writing, this is for you!

The notes I spoke from (not really a transcript, but good enough to get the gist)

Recently, I had a lot of family in town, and we were talking about writing. The conversation turned to a friend who was a writer as well as the primary breadwinner for his family. I confirmed that most writers don’t make enough money to quit a day job, so essentially this guy was working two jobs, one to feed his family, and one to feed his soul.

All of us sacrifice something to make the time to write, whether that’s time with our family and friends, sleep, other hobbies, entertainment, recreation, or even cleaning. (guilty) Sometimes these sacrifices make us feel like we’re abandoning our responsibilities. We even feel guilty.

I stay at home with my four children, and squeeze in working around their schedules. Sometimes I my schedule is extra demanding, and I’m not as engaged with my children as I feel like I should be. I feel this guilt, too.

But I also feel it’s really important to do what I said earlier, and feed my soul. Writing helps me feel happier. It’s a creative outlet, and it’s part of who I am.

Accepting that has made finding “balance” in my life so much easier. I’m a better friend and a better wife and a better mother when I do take this time to refuel, to do something for myself, to pursue a passion. When I give myself permission to focus on taking care of myself sometimes, to set aside some time for writing, I’m a happier person, and I’m better able to fulfill my other roles and responsibilities.

Conclusion

But fretting over what I “should” and “shouldn’t” do has only hindered me and hampered me with guilt, making it harder to write and to be happy when I’m not writing.

I’m a writer, and writers write. I can still have relationships and a life, but I need my writing time to make all of those things more fulfilling. Give yourself permission to write, to make sacrifices to write, and banish the guilt.

Be sure to join my email newsletter by Wednesday, March 12, for more about giving yourself permission to write!

I’ve wanted to try vlogging for a while, but I probably won’t give it another go until I can find a way to minimize the buzz from my computer’s fan.

What do you think? Have you given yourself permission to write?

Achieving your goals on autopilot

I set goals all the time—and I’ve found the easiest way to achieve my goals is on autopilot.

I’ve posted this a couple times before, but I would be remiss if I let the season of New Year’s Resolutions pass without highlighting my favorite goal-achieving techniques!

“Autopilot” doesn’t mean coasting through the month, or setting absurdly low goals so I can achieve them, though. It means scheduling for me. I kind of beasted Nano 2011, and—especially the first week—I managed to do this without the world falling down around the ears. I’m the mom, of course, and I set the pace of the household. I do most of the housework. So how did I write 5000-6000 words a day (hours and hours of work) without running out of meals and clean underwear for the family?

Planning.

I was already used to one very useful phone alarm: a 15 minute warning to the time we need leave for school. So I decided to expand on that and use the phone alarm to remind me to do laundry (and switch it, fold it, and hand it off to the kids to put away), work with the kids to empty the dishwasher, read with the kids, start dinner and go to bed on time.

Dinners were also planned: I took the calendar for the month and planned out our meals (actually, when I did this for 2012, I planned for the rest of the year because I found so many great recipes—you can see the online ones on my Pinterest). Last year, I focused on quick meals, slow cooker meals, meals I’ve squirreled away in the freezer, and family favorites. Themed nights were also big helps: Meatless Monday, Favorites Fridays, etc. It took a couple hours to write it out, but then for the rest of the month, meal planning was handled and I could just look at the calendar to make out my shopping list.

Even blog posts (on four blogs!) were planned the month in advance. Topics and dates went on the calendar. I made up post drafts for each of those days with the topics all ready to go. I stockpiled topics and full posts. On weekends, I filled in the remaining posts and scheduled them to go.

It actually went really well—until I finished my novel. And then I let a lot of it fall apart. But all that advanced planning helped me to maintain a good routine, be productive and run the house better than I usually did.

So how can that apply to other goals?

Schedule them now.

If you want to write 1000, 2000 or 5000 words a day, pick a time and put it in your schedule. (Doing it at the same time each day can help, too.) Unplug from the Internet. Schedule a time with the fewest kids distractions around. I’ve used a handy browser plugin that would block certain time-wasting websites during certain times of the day—another helper.

5000 words a day was my goal during Nano 2011. I broke it into chunks and assigned each chunk a time: 1500 in the morning, 1500 in the afternoon and 2000 in the evening. This year, my words-a-day goal is a more manageable 2000 when drafting (3000 for playing catch-up right now), but I’m still chunking that down.

This works for other goals, too. If you want to read a certain number of books next year, start collecting recommendations. Figure out whether you prefer reading on an eReader/mobile device (if you have one) or paper book. I like library books since they come with built-in deadlines—and, oh yeah, they’re free. Then figure out how long you can take per book (on average).

If you’re trying to research a project, make a list of resources, get them and give yourself a timeline to read them.

If you want to lose weight, schedule your exercise sessions with yourself. Make up healthy meal plans in advance. Buy and prepare healthy snacks.

We all know that goals should to be broken down into steps to be achievable. But what it really comes down to is to just do it, to quote Nike. Little reminders and baby steps help me.

What does it take to help you just do it?

Photo by Kent Wein

Originally posted in January 2012

Reaching your Nano goals on autopilot

This entry is part 13 of 16 in the series NaNoWriMo success and inspiration

I set goals all the time—and I’ve found the easiest way to achieve my goals is on autopilot.

That doesn’t mean coasting through the month, or setting absurdly low goals so I can achieve them, though. Like I mentioned yesterday, that means scheduling for me. I kind of beasted Nano 2011, and—especially the first week—I managed to do this without the world falling down around the ears. I’m the mom, of course, and I set the pace of the household. I do most of the housework. So how did I write 5000-6000 words a day (hours and hours of work) without running out of meals and clean underwear for the family?

Planning.

I was already used to one very useful phone alarm: a 15 minute warning to the time we need leave for school. So I decided to expand on that and use the phone alarm to remind me to do laundry (and switch it, fold it, and hand it off to the kids to put away), work with the kids to empty the dishwasher, read with the kids, start dinner and go to bed on time.

Dinners were also planned: I took the calendar for the month and planned out our meals (actually, when I did this for 2012, I planned for the rest of the year because I found so many great recipes—you can see the online ones on my Pinterest). Last year, I focused on quick meals, slow cooker meals, meals I’ve squirreled away in the freezer, and family favorites. Themed nights were also big helps: Meatless Monday, Favorites Fridays, etc. It took a couple hours to write it out, but then for the rest of the month, meal planning was handled and I could just look at the calendar to make out my shopping list.

Even blog posts (on four blogs!) were planned the month in advance. Topics and dates went on the calendar. I made up post drafts for each of those days with the topics all ready to go. I stockpiled topics and full posts. On weekends, I filled in the remaining posts and scheduled them to go.

It actually went really well—until I finished my novel. And then I let a lot of it fall apart. But all that advanced planning helped me to maintain a good routine, be productive and run the house better than I usually did.

So how can that apply to other goals?

Schedule them now.

If you want to write 1000, 2000 or 5000 words a day, pick a time and put it in your schedule. (Doing it at the same time each day can help, too.) Unplug from the Internet. Schedule a time with the fewest kids distractions around. I’ve used a handy browser plugin that would block certain time-wasting websites during certain times of the day—another helper.

5000 words a day was my goal during Nano 2011. I broke it into chunks and assigned each chunk a time: 1500 in the morning, 1500 in the afternoon and 2000 in the evening.

This works for other goals, too. If you want to read a certain number of books next year, start collecting recommendations. Figure out whether you prefer reading on an eReader/mobile device (if you have one) or paper book. I like library books since they come with built-in deadlines—and, oh yeah, they’re free.

If you’re trying to research a project, make a list of resources, get them and give yourself a timeline to read them.

If you want to lose weight, schedule your exercise sessions with yourself. Make up healthy meal plans in advance. Buy and prepare healthy snacks.

We all know that goals should to be broken down into steps to be achievable. But what it really comes down to is to just do it, to quote Nike. Little reminders and baby steps help me.

What does it take to help you just do it?

Photo by Kent Wein

Originally posted in January 2012

NaNo success: scheduling

NaNoWriMo can be a pretty crazy time—crazier if you don’t plan ahead. No matter when you do it, doubling or even tripling your work time isn’t easy, at least not if you’d like your life to, you know, not fall apart.

Planning in advance is one key to making it through Nano without alienating everyone around you. Plotting your book, of course, helps, since you don’t have to stop to ponder where your story is going next and how you’ll get there.

But there’s another kind of planning that can make or break your Nano productivity: your schedule. For me, I went through and wrote down everything that I needed to do in a day to keep the rest of my life from falling apart (and if my life falls apart, my three kids’ and my husband’s lives most likely will, too, and that’s not fair to them, no matter what month it is). We’re talking meals, face time with my kids, and the bare minimum housekeeping tasks. I also wrote out some things I need to do weekly and monthly, and a few one-off tasks I need to finish (Christmas shopping for our Christmas-at-Thanksgiving celebration).

I assigned a time for the daily and weekly housekeeping tasks—and I found I had a surprising amount of time left for writing once my schedule was in place—and if I follow the schedule, not only does it afford me more writing time, but my house actually runs better and can even be cleaner than it normally is!

But now I have to be careful not to squander that work time. My friend Kathleen Brebes won Nano 2010 in thirteen days and she had some tips on scheduling for success:

A big helper to finishing my novel in thirteen days was that I had made a pact with myself not sign on to the internet until my daily writing was complete; I didn’t even check AI stats [our writing group] or Nano stats until my daily writing was finished. But, I did keep up with my daily housework schedule and DayMinder Agenda. However, the second week of Nano, I didn’t walk or lift weights; I only stretched daily. And, I made sure not to neglect my spiritual and familial commitments.

from A Succor for Writing . . . by Kathleen Brebes: Succor: My First NaNoWriMo.

Now, if a first-time Wrimo can hit the goal in 13 days—and still make time to keep her house running smoothly—I hope we can all get inspiration from that.

What do you do to keep on your writing schedule? What do you let slip—and what can’t you let slip?

Photo by Dru Bloomfield

Originally from Nano 2011

The debt I owe to Davy Jones

In the ’90s, Nick at Night began airing The Monkees. My sisters and I got hooked on the absurdity pretty quickly right before I started high school. (What can I say? We were the target audience, 30 years too late.) Over the next couple years, I met and saw two members of the Monkees in concerts (three different events)—Peter Tork and Davy Jones.

Two weeks ago, I got a text message from two of my sisters within seconds, basically saying the same thing:

I’m so sorry about Davy Jones!

That was how I found out he’d died. He had a heart attack at 66. For some odd reason, the youngest of the Monkees was the first to go.

It was a sad surprise, even if it’s not completely unheard of (I mean, Peter Tork, the oldest of the Monkees, hit 70 just two weeks before). It hit me that night as I saw a clip from the old TV show that he was really gone. But let’s be serious here: he wasn’t a close personal friend, and I’m not going to mourn him like one. His death didn’t make me face my own mortality, or give me a sobering wake up call, or anything else. It was a sad note.

One of my favorite songs actually sung by Davy

But then over the last weekend, I remembered what I owe to Davy Jones.

When my sisters and I started watching The Monkees, I liked the show so much, I had to write about it. Yes, it’s true—I came to writing through fanfiction. Monkees fanfic. (Is this as shameful as I think it sounds?) And though Davy himself wasn’t the biggest reason for my doing that, he was part of the ensemble. He was part of the reason I started to write.

davy jones
From left to right: my sister (holding one of my favorite photos of Davy from the 60s), my friend, my sister,cropped to just Davy and me (holding records?), in 1998. And yes, that extra hand on my waist is Davy’s. I’m 15, he’s 52. Is that skeevy? Oh well. (Don’t know where my other sister was 🙁 .)

So thank you, Davy Jones.

How did you get started writing?