Yesterday (and throughout this series), I mentioned that we have to focus on our characters and what they perceive when we detail the sensory information. We’ve talked about how to get into a character’s head (waaay back when), but sometimes seeing with our character’s eyes (or using their other senses) is a bit more challenging than just understanding what they’re thinking.
One thing that I’ve done to work on this (can you tell this is actually what I’m working on now?) is to go through each scene and write down all five senses for that character in that setting. As I do this, I ask myself questions about the character in the setting:
- Which of my character’s emotions or experiences would color this setting? Does the sandy desert remind her of her grandmother’s house, or him of Desert Storm? (Or make up new experiences, if you feel like it.) If you need a setting to have an impact, sensory data could trigger strong memories for your character. Or if you just want your character to have a strong emotional experience, sensory data from the setting might be the way to go. Emotional
- Is this a new setting for the character? If so, keep in mind your character’s personality and purpose there. Someone accustomed to danger might scan for the best escape route first. (And she won’t sit with her back to the door. Don’t even ask.) But if she’s there to meet a friend, looking for that friend will be a close second priority.
- Conversely, is this setting very familiar to the character? If, for example, it’s their home or workplace, they may not “experience” it anymore. So if you need to be in that character’s POV in that setting, focus only on what stands out. Most of us don’t know what our own house smells like (unless we’re the ones buying the air fresheners!), but we’ll notice the overripe garbage.
- In a familiar setting, can I have other people interact with the set? The other characters’ interactions with the POV/owner character’s furniture may suddenly draw her attention to the ratty patch on the arm of the couch where her cat sharpens its claws—or maybe the cat does that itself.
- Do we remain grounded in the setting? Do we go too long without referencing something concrete in the “real world” of the story, devolving into people talking in space? (That’s one of my big things to work on.) Note: we don’t have to redescribe the drywall, but even interacting with a prop keeps us from floating off into space.
- Do we remain grounded in the character? Kind of the opposite phenomenon—do we spend too much time on the description so that we kind of lose track of what the character is doing/thinking/feeling? (And thanks to Andrew for bringing this to mind in the comments!)
What do you think? How do you get into your characters’ senses?
Tomorrow, we’ll have more about picking which senses to focus on for your character!
Photo by Vestman
I wrote this today (warning–rough draft ahead)
CM Spencer led Thomas through the C16M’s vast workshop. Partially-completed projects lay everywhere: engines, mechanical legs, wheels, weapons. Men in grease-stained coats manned various posts. Some wore black goggles while welding bright sparkles of metal. Others consulted pages of blueprints or hanging wall charts. Others walked catwalks, securing items to the high ceiling. Some gathered and spoke in low whispers. The men paid him no mind. They walked through canyons of shelving support all manner of parts and boxes. Tools hung across walls or in bins. An acrid smell of ozone and burning whale oil assaulted his senses. The grinding of machining tools filled the air. Strange lighting pervaded the room. There were no windows, but several skylights provided additional illumination.
Hmm…I wonder if welding is anachronistic…must…Google…welding…riveting might be better.
So what can I do to improve this in terms of the senses (ignoring grammar, sentence structure and flow, etc) ?
Okay, I’ll give this a shot.
You’ve done a great job describing the scene. We’ve got lots and lots of sight, vivid smell, and sound. If this is a really important setting, and a scene where the POV character (Thomas, I assume) and the reader are experiencing all this for the first time, I think the amount of detail is probably good.
The things I would focus on are making sure that we stay with the character (which I do see some here—that the men paid him no mind, and he’s a victim of the smells—maybe tie in smell earlier?)—this should probably be another bullet point above right after “Do we remain grounded in the setting?” Focusing on Thomas and his reactions and thoughts might help to break it up a little—and help direct the readers in what to feel (awe?).
Finally, you might try to order the elements so you can end on the most powerful images/reaction.
I can really see the things you describe here, and you’ve done a great job of drawing out so much sensory information for the reader!
Those are really good ideas. I’ll go into my writing cave and see what I can do, maybe post a revised version at some point.
I think tying in the emotional response is probably the most needed element.
Thanks! 🙂
You’re welcome. Sometimes I even impress myself 😉 . Off to add that point to the post!
You know, this is has been an awesome series and I have been directing several writers to read it.
I do think it needs one more post though – about learning styles. One of my aha moments as a writer was when I realized that I was writing too heavily from my learning style, and therefore missing giving my readers valuable clues.
Here’s one site with info:
http://www.ldpride.net/learningstyles.MI.htm#Learning%20Styles%20Explained