Click for free blog updates via RSSCome play!
Tag Archives: annette lyon
What dialogue can (and should!) do
Okay, this totally almost qualifies as a guest post. My friend, author Annette Lyon, mentioned the many purposes dialogue can serve in a comment here, and then on Monday, after a question from Kathleen, Annette posted about six things dialogue can/should do.
In a scene, dialogue isn’t just there to pass the time or fix the pace. Dialogue needs a purpose for the story, or it’s just fluff. Annette outlines six purposes dialogue can serve in a scene, to help us keep our writing (and the story) moving forward.
It’s hard to pick a favorite part of Annette’s post, but this is one paragraph that really made me think:
Sometimes, even the people we’re with affect how we say things. I know I’ve lapsed into an almost teenage-style of talking around friends I know from that era, while I’ll use a more formal register with, say, the school principal. When I’m talking with my sisters, I sound very different than when I’m talking to my kids. And so on.
Annette also gives good advice on what to do and what not to do when writing dialogue, and how to portray each of her six purposes in your dialogue. So check it out!
Author websites that work
As promised (finally), I thought it’d be nice to see some examples of the good—author websites that work. So I’ll point out a few and why they work for me, and then I’ll turn the time over to you.
Note, too, that I’m not interested in how freaking awesome-bells-and-whistles a website is—I want to look at how well it works at conveying the author, promoting his or her books, and inviting us to read.
Okay, yeah, so Annette’s my friend and we have some pretty obscure stuff in common (dads who were missionaries in Finland [and thus even knowing what the Kalevala is], linguistic obsessions, etc.). But even if that weren’t the case, I’d still like her website.
She’s the author of six published books, the four most recent of which are historical romances. I think her site does a good job of portraying literature and historical in its design.
I like that her front page is descriptive enough to let us know who she is and what she writes without being overly wordy or long (what you see above is pretty much everything on the front page). The site navigation is highlighted (and yes, there is some Flash animation on that—a bell/whistle, to be sure, but not one that really changes the way her site works).
That navigation works really well, too—in only six page titles, you know exactly what to expect in each section and where to go if you’re there looking for something specific. (If you’re not looking for anything specific, she encourages you to read an excerpt from her latest novel.)
At her Publications page, she features her most recent book prominently, with links to individual pages for each of her published books—featuring reviews, excerpts, author’s notes and historical notes.
Finally, she has a great blog hosted at http://blog.annettelyon.com (as I always recommend 
).
Sadly, Kiersten and I are not so much friends as I try to convince her we are. However, we are the same age, married men from the same city, have the same number of children and have even worked in the same industries.
Hm. Another person I have a bunch in common with. This may be indicative of a trend.
Uh, anyway, Kiersten’s first book is due out in September. It’s YA paranormal, and I think her site hints at that visually. She also does a great job of conveying her personality and writing style in the text of her site.
As with Annette’s, the navigation is easy to follow: you can easily find what you’re looking for and know what to expect on each page. She has a little teaser preview of her forthcoming novel as well as a section for her frequently asked questions.
Most of all, I really like Kiersten’s site because she did it herself. As she explained in the comments to Seven Things an Aspiring Author Website Must Have,
[My website] is pretty basic, but I did it all myself through Yahoo! web hosting. I’m not at all tech-savvy and had no problem setting it all up and managing it. It’s only like fifteen dollars a year, and I don’t think it looks too bad.
So it’s possible to create a good-looking website that works all by yourself.
Nothing helps you learn more than analyzing a site yourself! Go find your favorite author’s website and see if it works for you—and why or why not. (And of course, share your findings in the comments!)
Posted in Marketing
Tagged annette lyon, author websites, kiersten white, successful websites, website examples
9 Comments
A quick overview of the Hero’s Journey
Over the last two weeks, we’ve looked at two plotting methods. One helped us parse our story into parts, the other helped us grow it from an idea. But a weakness of both is that neither really tells us what kind of events we need in a story—especially in the sagging middle.
The Hero’s Journey is based on the universal archetype work of Carl Jung, as applied by Joseph Campbell. Campbell studied myths, legends and tales from around the world, and observed that most of the stories followed a similar pattern. However, it was Christopher Vogler that applied the Hero’s Journey to writing (and film) technique and story structure in The Writer’s Journey.
I first learned about the hero’s journey in high school. We had this really cool interactive website—man, I wish I still had the URL . . . what? Why are you looking at me that way? Yes, we had interactive websites when I was in high school. This was like ten years ago. You’re just jealous.
Ahem. Anyway. Since then, I’ve come across the hero’s journey . . . oh, a million times. The bulk of this post actually comes from my notes from the most recent encounter, a presentation by Annette Lyon to the local League of Utah Writers chapter in April June (I’m good with calendars). While there are a full seventeen stages of Campbell’s journey, Vogler reduces the steps to the twelve here.
The Hero’s Journey
The story begins in The Ordinary World. Here, of course, we meet the hero and his problems. This is how we can introduce the story question—the protagonist’s underlying quest (Can heroine find her place in the world? Can hero mend his bitter, broken heart? Can Jimmy save his grandpa’s farm?). The story question and the ordinary world may foreshadow the story world—three words: Wizard of Oz.
Then comes the Call to Adventure. A herald arrives, announcing the change. (I just watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone again this weekend, and the call is super obvious there, yes?) The hero must act—it’s not an open-ended kind of catchall cast call. In some cases, a “we need someone who has X, Y and Z characteristics” might work, but we often see more of a “We need YOU” call.
Normally, the hero isn’t interested. Obviously, this is going to be hard work, and maybe I don’t want to find my place in the world/mend my heart/save the farm that badly. This is the Refusal of the Call.
Fear doesn’t have to be the only reason for refusal—he may also have noble reasons, or perhaps other characters are preventing him from leaving (on purpose or inadvertently). Again, this is HP1—his aunt and uncle refuse to let him even open the letter, and whisk him off to some rocky outcropping.
Sometimes it takes a mentor to get the hero on the right path. So next we have the Meeting with the Mentor. (This can also take place after the hero has committed to the adventure, or kind of concurrently . . . anyway.) This gets the hero (and the story) moving again. The mentor often provides hero with training and/or an object that will help in the quest.
Now we’re ready for Crossing the First Threshold. This is where the hero leaves the Ordinary World and enters the New, Special Story World. (Again, this is dramatized well in The Wizard of Oz—literally in Technicolor—but lots of movies actually have big cues for this transition—change in tempo, location, lighting, music, etc.). This is where our hero faces his first test, the first challenge to his commitment. Life will never be the same once the hero passes the threshold.
The bulk of the story comes in the Tests, Allies and Enemies phase. Here, the hero adjusts to the New World, often with tests of skill. He meets lots of people and has to determine whether they’re allies or enemies. In these sections, we see groups coming together and people gathering. The hero picks up his sidekicks and possibly a rival. In HP1, this is everything from the Hogwarts Express to the sorting, and then all the inner skirmishes the kids face.
Then things start to get serious with the Approach to the Inmost Cave (can’t you just hear a booming, echoing voice?). This is the first of two big, final tests—it’s preparatory to the final test, though sometimes the character thinks it’s the final test. However, this will only prepare him for a later Ordeal.
In the Inmost Cave, we often run into illusions and characters who determine the hero’s worthiness. The hero must use what he’s learned so far to get through, and sometimes he enters a new Special World. In the original Star Wars trilogy, this is most obvious when Luke actually goes into a cave to confront an illusion of Darth Vader. In Harry Potter, Harry, Ron and Hermione have to use what they’ve learned to get past Fluffy, the deadly vines, the swarm of keys and the living chess set.
These ordeals strip the hero of his friends, leaving him alone for the final Ordeal. But since that’s kind of heavy, there’s often a break here—some comic relief, a campfire scene (or this can be after the Ordeal). This can also be a scene where they think they’ve won—and then they find out there’s just one more “little” problem.
The Ordeal. This may be the climax. It’s a “final exam” for the hero to show off his newly-gained knowledge. Here he battles the real villain (not to be confused with the rival, who is so trivial now), and faces his greatest fears. The hero has to be willing to sacrifice something huge and/or die here.
But it all pays off, because next he gets to seize the sword—he gets The Reward. The hero captures or finds the Elixir—an actual treasure, some treasure of knowledge—or accomplishes the point of the quest. Now we can celebrate (another good place for a campfire scene).
Here, the hero has an epiphany—he understands something new about himself. He’s grown, and that itself might be the Elixir.
In an action-oriented story, or a story that Will. Never. End. (Make! It! Stop!), we come next to The Road Back. The hero heads back to the Ordinary World with the Elixir. The Villain comes back (I’ve heard this referred to as always having to slay the dragon twice).
Now, we have the Resurrection, which is often the climax. This is the biggest ordeal of all, something that pushes him to the limit. Remember that after the Ordeal, the hero realized he was changed. Here, we get to see that change in action. What part of himself did he sacrifice or lose? If this is the climax, then this is where the hero finally triumphs over evil once and for all, he vanquishes the Villain and the Villain is changed forever.
And we get back on the road back to home for our triumphal Return with the Elixir. Here we have the denouement. Characters receive their rewards or punishments. We wrap up all the loose threads—but a surprise or two in here is always fun!
After this, though, the hero may leave because with the Elixir, he no longer belongs in the Ordinary World. Frodo is the classic example of this.
Naturally, as Campbell also examined characters, we’ll take a look at archetypal characters in the hero’s journey tomorrow.
Want to go more in-depth in the Hero’s Journey? Check out Andrew Rosenberg’s (Iapetus999) current blog series!
What do you think? Can you see the Hero’s Journey in popular books and movies today? How about your own work?
Posted in Technique
Tagged annette lyon, carl jung, christopher vogler, hero's journey, joseph campbell, mwahahaha, plotting, writer's journey
7 Comments
Tower of Strength by Annette Lyon – Review
Once again, I’m catching up with the last of the reviews for my Summer Reading Thing list. Website review tomorrow, and be sure to participate in the craft book club poll!
I bought Tower of Strength back in March, when I first met Annette Lyon (the author). It’s the latest of her series on books centered around the old LDS temples built in Utah.
In Tower of Strength, Tabitha married young, became pregnant almost immediately—and is widowed just two months after her wedding. She spends the next six years hundreds of miles away, building a life for herself and her son. 
When her hometown’s newspaper owner offers Tabitha the Sanpitch Sentinel, she decides to return home.
But things aren’t easy for her there. She has to see her bitter former mother-in-law regularly, she faces opposition to a woman owning the paper as well as the stories she’s printing, and she undertakes breaking a wild horse. Meanwhile, she develops feelings for the newly-widowed Samuel Barnett—but she struggles to let herself rely on anyone else after her first husband’s death left her abandoned. Samuel, too, has to work through his own problems as he learns a whole new trade with unpredictable animals—and finds himself falling in love only months after losing his beloved wife.
The characters in Tower of Strength are complex and well-rounded. I think the only thing that detracted for me in the book was the fact that I didn’t really “feel” like Samuel was English. He “sounded” just as Western as the other characters—though maybe if I’d read his passages in an English accent, he might have sounded more accurate . It could also be a time period thing.
What do you think? How many little speech patterns does it take to convey a character is from another culture? How much is too much?
Spires of Stone by Annette Lyon – Review
I’m catching up on my Summer Reading Thing reviews today, and we’ll be back on the website reviews soon!
Spires of Stone is a retelling of Much Ado about Nothing—a story of false accusations, slander, verbal sparring, making amends and forgiveness.
I was most surprised by how much I remembered of Much Ado—Annette used not only the plot lines (though she did change them slightly and eliminated a few characters), but also the actual lines from the play. (I’ve seen the play live once, six years ago I think, and the Kenneth Brannagh movie maybe three times in my life—had no idea I’d remember all that! Oh, and I think I might’ve seen the opera Beatrice and Benedick. . . . Maybe it’s not so surprising after all.)
My favorite parts were the scenes where Claude (Claudio) and Phillip (Don Pedro) are conspiring to trick Ben (Benedick) into admitting his feelings for Bethany (Beatrice) (and Hannah (Hero) and Marie (Margaret/Ursula, here) conspiring to do the same favor for Bethany). I especially loved how Benedick’s and Beatrice’s lines from those scenes translated into their internal monologue.
In all, I thought this was a good adaptation of a classic. Of course, Annette changed some of the plot for her characters—notably, they don’t pretend Hannah is dead just to make Claude pay. I was thinking maybe this wouldn’t work in fiction anyway—after all, in a play, there’s a lot less suspension of disbelief. You don’t have to stop and think, “Would someone really believe a falsely-accused woman could die of shame?” because it’s happening right before your eyes—and not even on a TV or movie screen, but with real people (even though you know it’s not real, there’s some evidence that our brains aren’t quite smart enough to differentiate between simulated reality and reality).
What do you think? Does fiction have to be more “believable” than drama, especially live-acted drama?
Why I love blogging
The wonderful Annette Lyon is out to give me a heart attack. First, she goes and in the middle of celebrating the release of her new grammar book, There, Their, They’re, she up and links to me and goes on and on about my Word Nerdiness (and yes, that’s a compliment). And then last week, she does it again, this time passing along an award to boot.
And before I get off on that tangent, I pull up her blog this week and see a freaking huge picture of ME on the top post. If ever you want to know how and why we became friends (and/or are secretly separated at birth), Annette lays it all out there. Plus, she wrote a wonderful guest post this week on verbs in dialogue tags—the exact topic I was just about to suggest to her when she told me that was what she was thinking of writing about. Yep, separated at birth.
So, anyway, she gave me an award, too. As if the whole “This is your life” game wasn’t enough .
Here’s the purpose and instructions for the NENO’S Award:
*a dedication for those who love blogging and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
* to seek the reasons why we all love blogging.
* put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
* don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
* answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
* tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
* don’t forget to notify the award recipients and put their links in your post.
Thank you, Annette! I’m flattered 
. (Despite the repeated attempts on my life. How come you save Tristi but try to kill me??)
Why I love blogging
There are a lot of things I love about blogging. At my work blog, Marketing Pilgrim, I like the opportunity to analyze the Internet marketing industry from time to time, as well as the chance to keep my editing skills sharp. At my blog about fulfillment in motherhood, MamaBlogga, I love building friendships with other moms, and taking the time to pause and appreciate being a mother, but most of all I love it when someone tells me I’ve made a difference for them that day.
Here on my writing blog, I like developing friendships with other writers and the chance to air my thoughts instead of sitting here fuming over yet another book/website/blog post that claims any use of “was [verb]ing” is passive voice. I’m looking forward to being able to discuss mechanics and technique and books and hearing your insightful comments.
Sharing the love
Kaye Dacus, whose blog was one of the first writing craft blogs I’d ever come across—and I love it as much today as I did then.
My Romance with Romance by my critique partner, Marnee, who (no matter what she may modestly claim) has taught me so much about writing romance. Just look how great Marnee is!
Tristi Pinkston, whom I got to meet last weekend at the launch for her newest book, Agent in Old Lace (read my review), and who is just the kindest, most inspiring mother, writer and mother-writer. Plus she has the best book promo/blog scavenger hunt ever.
Traci Hunter Abramson, who was awesome and really encouraging to me. Plus, I’ve read all of her books (though Lockdown is still waiting for me on my counter).
Thanks again, Annette!
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged annette lyon, award, kaye dacus, links, marnee, neno, traci hunter abramson, tristi pinkston
Comments Off
Verbs and Dialogue Tags: Or, Stop Smiling Words
By Annette Lyon
Back in my days writing for a small newspaper, I often did book reviews. One day a publicist handed me a self-published book. It was a semi-autobiographical novel, and the concept seemed interesting. I looked forward to reading it.
That is, until I got about four lines into page one. The book was a mess from start to finish. Even though I read the thing about a dozen years ago, I could still rant for days on the all the problems in the book (let’s just say this guy didn’t have the first clue about how to put together a coherent story, let alone a coherent sentence).
One particular peeve still stands out: the use of funky verbs instead of normal dialogue tags. In the first chapter, I noticed that no one ever said anything.
They began, interrupted, rebutted, chided, complained, warned, replied, whispered, teased, mumbled, proclaimed, ordered, confessed, pressed, affirmed, announced, proposed, confirmed, suggested, and (some of my favorites) guiltily petitioned, sarcastically rebutted, and proficiently advised.
I could tell the guy had a thesaurus and was trying hard not to use “said.” The result felt ridiculous. Finding his goofy dialogue tags became a game for me. I wrote down every one from the first chapter.
The list had over 90 tags. Not ONE used “said.”
By this point, my eye was seriously twitching with annoyance. I have a sneaking suspicion that I also laughed out loud . . . several times.
Here are three basic rules for dialogue tags that this author could have really used.
Rule #1: “Said.” Use it 90% of the time.
It’s our happy verb.
While you don’t normally want to be repeating the same words over and over in your work, “said” (contrary to what this guy thought) tends to be invisible. It disappears while it helps the reader keep track of who is saying what.
Remember that you don’t need “said” (or any tag) after every single line of dialogue. If the speaker is clear, you can leave off the tag altogether. But when it doubt, use “said.”
Rule #2: If you decide to use a verb other than “said,” be sure it’s a speakable verb.
For example, don’t do this: “These flowers are for you,” he smiled.
Um, no. Smiles are silent. You can’t smile words. You can smile while speaking words. You can smile and then speak them. But smiles themselves can’t speak.
Other non-speakable verbs often used as tags include sniffed, nodded, shrugged, and a hundred others.
That horrific book I slogged through used “her eyes begged” as a speech tag.
(Wow. Those are some pretty special—and loud—eyes.)
Rule #3: Use actions (sure, even “her eyes begged”) when referring to dialogue.
Just don’t use it as a speech tag. Instead, put those action verbs next to the dialogue in their own sentences, complete with end-of-sentence punctuation.
Otherwise, the action is the thing speaking, and we all know that’s impossible.
So this would be just fine:
He smiled. “These flowers are for you.”
Or, use “said” and then add the verb next to it. So this works too:
“These flowers are for you,” he said, smiling.
Examples with actions only:
Steve walked into April’s apartment and handed her a bouquet of roses. “These are for you.”
OR
He got down on one knee. “Will you marry me?” His eyes begged to know the answer.
See? No speech tags at all. Even better, no funky verbs that can’t be realistically spoken. All we have are actions separated by clear punctuation like a period or question mark, plus dialogue we instinctively know belongs to the right speaker.
If you use these three rules, the verbs in your tags will look far more professional—and they won’t give a reviewer eye twitches and a serious case of the giggles.
So please, no more (hmm . . . let’s consult my list of 90-some tags from chapter one): stammering, grumbling, ordering, proposing, affirmed, or quizzing, what say?
Annette Lyon has been writing ever since second grade, when she piled pillows on a chair to reach her mother’s typewriter. A cum laude graduate from BYU with a degree in English, she has had success with newspaper, magazine, and business writing, but her first love is fiction. She was awarded Utah’s Best of State medal for fiction in 2007. Tower of Strength, her sixth and most recent novel, is her fourth historical centered around old Utah temples.
Photo credits—Reader by Chris Johnson; smile by jdurham123.
