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Annette Lyon’s Secret Sauce: Point of View

by Annette Lyon

Annette Lyon-FALL 2012When I first started writing seriously (back in the Jurassic era), the more I tried to learn, the more there seemed to be to learn. And there was so much.

For me, the language side of writing came relatively easy; my brain simply works in a way that grammar, usage, mechanics, and punctuation are easy to grasp. It was the bones of writing, the structure, the storytelling aspect, that took longer.

As I continued to write and study the craft, I began to see a pattern: whether it’s showing instead of telling, creating great description, rounding out characters, writing riveting action or just about anything else, one of the best ways to do all of those things is through a single tool in my writer’s toolkit.

My secret weapon is simple but powerful. Chances are if a scene isn’t working or the pace is aging or any number of other problems crop up, I can fix it by improving one thing: point of view.

I won’t go into the types of point of view here (first, limited third, tight third, omniscient, and so on). Study those yourself to learn contemporary trends and why different types work in different situations. (A great place to start: Orson Scott Card’s Character and Viewpoint.)

Here’s the secret: When you know who your POV character is for any given scene, the world of your story opens up to you.

For example, a writer recently asked me how to make his descriptions better; he wasn’t sure how much description to include of a room or some other location, or how to create a description without stopping the plot.

No surprise, my answer went straight to POV. I used the lobby at the conference we were at as an example. If it’s a man who has just walked in from the hot sun after hours of working on his car, chances are he’d first notice the Pepsi machine. Maybe he’d then be annoyed, because he’s a Coke guy. Maybe he then looks for a drinking fountain or settles for a Dr. Pepper before finding one of the couches to relax on—feet propped on the coffee table.

Or if it’s a business woman with a design background, maybe she’d first notice the decorative metal piece hanging on the wall—and either think it was tacky or unique and fun. She’d probably wonder who picked out the puke yellow paint for the walls, and if she took a seat on the couches, instead of reclining, she’d find a plug in the wall and prop open her laptop to work—likely giving Mr. Smelly Mechanic a look and wishing he’d put his arms down so he wouldn’t be quite so odiferous.

In both cases, I picked a specific personality to view the very same room, and each person found different items they noticed first. That’s the key with POV—what is the lens through which your character sees the world? What does this particular character notice? What does he or she like or dislike? What does he or she want?

If an eight-year-old girl obsessed with princesses came into the room, what would she notice first? What about a ninety-year-old retired biology professor? A middle-aged homeless woman?

What your character notices—whether in the description of a room, in dialog with other characters, what they see in another person’s demeanor—is just as important as what they don’t notice. How they do and do not feel about those things matters.

Imagine what the Harry Potter series would have been like written from Draco’s POV. Snape would be a total hero from page one. We’d think Hagrid is a nincompoop and view Dumbledore as a has-been.

The more I’ve played with POV in creating characters and scenes that come alive, the more POV almost feels like the best cheat ever—I can show without trying so hard, simply by remembering to look at the story world through my POV character eyes. My plot moves forward, the conflict intensifies, and more, all by staying true to POV.

Which is also why not knowing how to use POV well can have a disastrous effect of your story. Instead of pulling your reader into your world and holding them there, poor handling of POV pushes the reader out and constantly reminds them that they’re reading a story that someone else created.

Or worse, bad POV can confuse readers to the point that they shrug and simply give up, closing the book (or turning off the e-reader) and moving on to something else.

I’m almost a nerd about how excited I get over POV and all the many uses it has. It’s definitely my secret sauce, no matter what kind of story I’m writing.

About the Author
Annette Lyon is a Whitney Award winner, a two-time recipient of Utah’s Best in State medal for fiction, and the author of ten novels, a cookbook, and a grammar guide as well as over a hundred magazine articles. She’s a senior editor at Precision Editing Group and a cum laude graduate from BYU with a degree in English. When she’s not writing, editing, knitting, or eating chocolate, she can be found mothering and avoiding the spots on the kitchen floor. Find her online at blog.annettelyon.com and on Twitter: @AnnetteLyon

This year, she’s released Band of Sisters: Coming Home, the second edition of There, Their, They’re: A No-Tears Guide to Grammar from the Word Nerd, and novellas in the Timeless Romance Anthology series.

TBR Tuesday: Latest library loans

There’s still a little room on the I, Spy / Mr. Nice Spy blog launch tour, but it’s filling up fast! More details here.

Who doesn’t love libraries? One of my favorite things about libraries is using the hold system. Okay, so it’s not so great when the book you want isn’t available right away, but with the hold system, it takes like five minutes to get a book you already know you want to read (once it comes in, of course). So here are the last three books that came in on hold for me.

Paige by Annette Lyon
After a bitter divorce from her unfaithful husband, Paige moves from Utah to California with her two little boys and vows to make a fresh start. She finds a job at a dental practice that helps her get back on her feet, but it’s the friends she makes at her new book club who help her realize how strong she is and who give her support to carry on as she faces the challenges of being a single mom. She also meets Derryl, a wonderful, kind, attentive man who treats her right—something her ex never did. Yet, Paige struggles to figure out who she is as a woman rather than a wife, how to help her boys adjust to a broken home, and whether she can ever trust a man or love again. As Paige leans on the book club ladies and Derryl’s ever-present care, one thing becomes clear: healing from the past requires more than a change of address.

With my birthday book budget, I decided I’d rather buy Annette’s Band of Sisters: Coming Home (Side note: Band of Sisters is currently $1.99 on Kindle!), and I put Paige on hold from the library. It finally came in, and it was the first book I picked up off the stack! But then life sucked up all my reading time. Darn life.

Reached by Ally Condie
Cassia’s journey began with an error, a momentary glitch in the otherwise perfect façade of the Society. After crossing canyons to break free, she waits, silk and paper smuggled against her skin, ready for the final chapter.

The wait is over.

One young woman has raged against those who threaten to keep away what matters most—family, love, choice. Her quiet revolution is about to explode into full-scale rebellion. With exquisite prose, the emotionally gripping conclusion to the international–bestselling Matched trilogy returns Cassia, Ky, and Xander to the Society to save the one thing they have been denied for so long, the power to choose.

I’ve read the first two books of this series, Matched and Crossed. I’ll be honest: the characters and the story don’t totally grab me and glue my eyes to the page (which sounds like a horrible, violent torture anyway. . . .), but I can’t stop reading Ally Condie’s beautiful, perfectly poetic writing. Love it!

The Light Between Oceans by M. L. Steadman
After four harrowing years on the Western Front, Tom Sherbourne returns to Australia and takes a job as the lighthouse keeper on Janus Rock, nearly half a day’s journey from the coast. To this isolated island, where the supply boat comes once a season and shore leaves are granted every other year at best, Tom brings a young, bold, and loving wife, Isabel. Years later, after two miscarriages and one stillbirth, the grieving Isabel hears a baby’s cries on the wind. A boat has washed up onshore carrying a dead man and a living baby.

Tom, whose records as a lighthouse keeper are meticulous and whose moral principles have withstood a horrific war, wants to report the man and infant immediately. But Isabel has taken the tiny baby to her breast. Against Tom’s judgment, they claim her as their own and name her Lucy. When she is two, Tom and Isabel return to the mainland and are reminded that there are other people in the world. Their choice has devastated one of them.

This last book is for my new long-distance book club, composed of my mom, my sisters, and my BFF. (With a roster like that, you’d probably think the book club was my idea. Nope.) One of my sisters has already read and enjoyed it and it sounds great!

What are you reading? What should me new book club tackle next?

TBR Tuesday: Maternity leave reads & reviews

What are you reading? Here are a few of the books I’ve been reading while not sleeping. (Yay, newbornhood.)

First up, I recently read Band of Sisters: Coming Home by Annette Lyon, a birthday present to myself. The sequel to Band of Sisters, Coming Home follows the same five National Guard wives as their soldiers return home (or don’t), following the problems of re-entry. Some of the storylines that were left hanging a little bit in the first novel (especially Jessie’s!) are more fully resolved in the sequel. And, of course, I cried many times, like you’re supposed to with any good women’s fiction novel 😉 .


In case you’ve missed it, I’ve spent the last year reading nonfiction about the CIA. I really wanted to see the movie Argo, but I’m not so big on violence. When I saw that there was also a book version of Argo by Tony Mendez & Matt Baglio, I jumped on it.

If you missed the movie trailers, in 1979, Iranian “students” overran the American embassy. They held the staffers there hostage for 444 days. But six Americans escaped from the embassy and became “houseguests” of Canadian diplomats. Argo tells the story of the audacious rescue mission: turning the minor diplomatic officials into a movie crew for a fake movie to get them out of Iran safely.

If you’ve read Tony Mendez’s first book, The Master of Disguise: My Secret Life in the CIA (currently <$4 on Kindle), there’s a lot of repeated information from Mendez’s POV. However, this book does add a more in-depth account from the houseguests’ point of view. Even having read Master of Disguise, I enjoyed this account.


I read almost everything my best friend recommends to me. I’d heard some praise for Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein before she recommended it, but once she said she enjoyed it, I put a hold on it at the library that day.

So. Worth. It.

Code Name Verity is the “confession” of a captured Scottish spy, a teenage girl, in World War II. But it’s not just a story about the war. It’s the story of two friends, the spy and her pilot Maddie, and the sacrifices they make for one another—and the true price of friendship. I bawled. Okay, I read this the same week I had the baby, so it’s not like it’s hard to make me cry, but still.

What are you reading? When is the last time a book made you cry?

What dialogue can (and should!) do

This entry is part 7 of 8 in the series Dialogue

Okay, this totally almost qualifies as a guest post. My friend, author Annette Lyon, mentioned the many purposes dialogue can serve in a comment here, and then on Monday, after a question from Kathleen, Annette posted about six things dialogue can/should do.

In a scene, dialogue isn’t just there to pass the time or fix the pace. Dialogue needs a purpose for the story, or it’s just fluff. Annette outlines six purposes dialogue can serve in a scene, to help us keep our writing (and the story) moving forward.

It’s hard to pick a favorite part of Annette’s post, but this is one paragraph that really made me think:

Sometimes, even the people we’re with affect how we say things. I know I’ve lapsed into an almost teenage-style of talking around friends I know from that era, while I’ll use a more formal register with, say, the school principal. When I’m talking with my sisters, I sound very different than when I’m talking to my kids. And so on.

Annette also gives good advice on what to do and what not to do when writing dialogue, and how to portray each of her six purposes in your dialogue. So check it out!

Author websites that work

As promised (finally), I thought it’d be nice to see some examples of the goodauthor websites that work. So I’ll point out a few and why they work for me, and then I’ll turn the time over to you.

Note, too, that I’m not interested in how freaking awesome-bells-and-whistles a website is—I want to look at how well it works at conveying the author, promoting his or her books, and inviting us to read.

annette

Annette Lyon

Okay, yeah, so Annette’s my friend and we have some pretty obscure stuff in common (dads who were missionaries in Finland [and thus even knowing what the Kalevala is], linguistic obsessions, etc.). But even if that weren’t the case, I’d still like her website.

She’s the author of six published books, the four most recent of which are historical romances. I think her site does a good job of portraying literature and historical in its design.

I like that her front page is descriptive enough to let us know who she is and what she writes without being overly wordy or long (what you see above is pretty much everything on the front page). The site navigation is highlighted (and yes, there is some Flash animation on that—a bell/whistle, to be sure, but not one that really changes the way her site works).

That navigation works really well, too—in only six page titles, you know exactly what to expect in each section and where to go if you’re there looking for something specific. (If you’re not looking for anything specific, she encourages you to read an excerpt from her latest novel.)

At her Publications page, she features her most recent book prominently, with links to individual pages for each of her published books—featuring reviews, excerpts, author’s notes and historical notes.

Finally, she has a great blog hosted at http://blog.annettelyon.com (as I always recommend 😉 ).

kiersten

Kiersten White

Sadly, Kiersten and I are not so much friends as I try to convince her we are. However, we are the same age, married men from the same city, have the same number of children and have even worked in the same industries.

Hm. Another person I have a bunch in common with. This may be indicative of a trend.

Uh, anyway, Kiersten’s first book is due out in September. It’s YA paranormal, and I think her site hints at that visually. She also does a great job of conveying her personality and writing style in the text of her site.

As with Annette’s, the navigation is easy to follow: you can easily find what you’re looking for and know what to expect on each page. She has a little teaser preview of her forthcoming novel as well as a section for her frequently asked questions.

Most of all, I really like Kiersten’s site because she did it herself. As she explained in the comments to Seven Things an Aspiring Author Website Must Have,

[My website] is pretty basic, but I did it all myself through Yahoo! web hosting. I’m not at all tech-savvy and had no problem setting it all up and managing it. It’s only like fifteen dollars a year, and I don’t think it looks too bad.

So it’s possible to create a good-looking website that works all by yourself.

Nothing helps you learn more than analyzing a site yourself! Go find your favorite author’s website and see if it works for you—and why or why not. (And of course, share your findings in the comments!)

A quick overview of the Hero’s Journey

This entry is part 12 of 24 in the series The plot thickens (Mwahahaha)

Planning out a novel? Be sure to join my newsletter for a FREE plotting/revision roadmap, and check out the full series on plotting novels in a free PDF!

Over the last two weeks, we’ve looked at two plotting methods. One helped us parse our story into parts, the other helped us grow it from an idea. But a weakness of both is that neither really tells us what kind of events we need in a story—especially in the sagging middle.

The Hero’s Journey is based on the universal archetype work of Carl Jung, as applied by Joseph Campbell. Campbell studied myths, legends and tales from around the world, and observed that most of the stories followed a similar pattern. However, it was Christopher Vogler that applied the Hero’s Journey to writing (and film) technique and story structure in The Writer’s Journey.

I first learned about the hero’s journey in high school. We had this really cool interactive website—man, I wish I still had the URL . . . what? Why are you looking at me that way? Yes, we had interactive websites when I was in high school. This was like ten years ago. You’re just jealous.

Ahem. Anyway. Since then, I’ve come across the hero’s journey . . . oh, a million times. The bulk of this post actually comes from my notes from the most recent encounter, a presentation by Annette Lyon to the local League of Utah Writers chapter in April June (I’m good with calendars). While there are a full seventeen stages of Campbell’s journey, Vogler reduces the steps to the twelve here.

The Hero’s Journey

The story begins in The Ordinary World. Here, of course, we meet the hero and his problems. This is how we can introduce the story question—the protagonist’s underlying quest (Can heroine find her place in the world? Can hero mend his bitter, broken heart? Can Jimmy save his grandpa’s farm?). The story question and the ordinary world may foreshadow the story world—three words: Wizard of Oz.

Then comes the Call to Adventure. A herald arrives, announcing the change. (I just watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone again this weekend, and the call is super obvious there, yes?) The hero must act—it’s not an open-ended kind of catchall cast call. In some cases, a “we need someone who has X, Y and Z characteristics” might work, but we often see more of a “We need YOU” call.

Normally, the hero isn’t interested. Obviously, this is going to be hard work, and maybe I don’t want to find my place in the world/mend my heart/save the farm that badly. This is the Refusal of the Call.

Fear doesn’t have to be the only reason for refusal—he may also have noble reasons, or perhaps other characters are preventing him from leaving (on purpose or inadvertently). Again, this is HP1—his aunt and uncle refuse to let him even open the letter, and whisk him off to some rocky outcropping.

Sometimes it takes a mentor to get the hero on the right path. So next we have the Meeting with the Mentor. (This can also take place after the hero has committed to the adventure, or kind of concurrently . . . anyway.) This gets the hero (and the story) moving again. The mentor often provides hero with training and/or an object that will help in the quest.

Now we’re ready for Crossing the First Threshold. This is where the hero leaves the Ordinary World and enters the New, Special Story World. (Again, this is dramatized well in The Wizard of Oz—literally in Technicolor—but lots of movies actually have big cues for this transition—change in tempo, location, lighting, music, etc.). This is where our hero faces his first test, the first challenge to his commitment. Life will never be the same once the hero passes the threshold.

The bulk of the story comes in the Tests, Allies and Enemies phase. Here, the hero adjusts to the New World, often with tests of skill. He meets lots of people and has to determine whether they’re allies or enemies. In these sections, we see groups coming together and people gathering. The hero picks up his sidekicks and possibly a rival. In HP1, this is everything from the Hogwarts Express to the sorting, and then all the inner skirmishes the kids face.

Then things start to get serious with the Approach to the Inmost Cave (can’t you just hear a booming, echoing voice?). This is the first of two big, final tests—it’s preparatory to the final test, though sometimes the character thinks it’s the final test. However, this will only prepare him for a later Ordeal.

In the Inmost Cave, we often run into illusions and characters who determine the hero’s worthiness. The hero must use what he’s learned so far to get through, and sometimes he enters a new Special World. In the original Star Wars trilogy, this is most obvious when Luke actually goes into a cave to confront an illusion of Darth Vader. In Harry Potter, Harry, Ron and Hermione have to use what they’ve learned to get past Fluffy, the deadly vines, the swarm of keys and the living chess set.

These ordeals strip the hero of his friends, leaving him alone for the final Ordeal. But since that’s kind of heavy, there’s often a break here—some comic relief, a campfire scene (or this can be after the Ordeal). This can also be a scene where they think they’ve won—and then they find out there’s just one more “little” problem.

The Ordeal. This may be the climax. It’s a “final exam” for the hero to show off his newly-gained knowledge. Here he battles the real villain (not to be confused with the rival, who is so trivial now), and faces his greatest fears. The hero has to be willing to sacrifice something huge and/or die here.

But it all pays off, because next he gets to seize the sword—he gets The Reward. The hero captures or finds the Elixir—an actual treasure, some treasure of knowledge—or accomplishes the point of the quest. Now we can celebrate (another good place for a campfire scene).

Here, the hero has an epiphany—he understands something new about himself. He’s grown, and that itself might be the Elixir.

In an action-oriented story, or a story that Will. Never. End. (Make! It! Stop!), we come next to The Road Back. The hero heads back to the Ordinary World with the Elixir. The Villain comes back (I’ve heard this referred to as always having to slay the dragon twice).

Now, we have the Resurrection, which is often the climax. This is the biggest ordeal of all, something that pushes him to the limit. Remember that after the Ordeal, the hero realized he was changed. Here, we get to see that change in action. What part of himself did he sacrifice or lose? If this is the climax, then this is where the hero finally triumphs over evil once and for all, he vanquishes the Villain and the Villain is changed forever.

And we get back on the road back to home for our triumphal Return with the Elixir. Here we have the denouement. Characters receive their rewards or punishments. We wrap up all the loose threads—but a surprise or two in here is always fun!

After this, though, the hero may leave because with the Elixir, he no longer belongs in the Ordinary World. Frodo is the classic example of this.

Naturally, as Campbell also examined characters, we’ll take a look at archetypal characters in the hero’s journey tomorrow.

Want to go more in-depth in the Hero’s Journey? Check out Andrew Rosenberg’s (Iapetus999) current blog series!

What do you think? Can you see the Hero’s Journey in popular books and movies today? How about your own work?

Tower of Strength by Annette Lyon – Review

Once again, I’m catching up with the last of the reviews for my Summer Reading Thing list. Website review tomorrow, and be sure to participate in the craft book club poll!

I bought Tower of Strength back in March, when I first met Annette Lyon (the author). It’s the latest of her series on books centered around the old LDS temples built in Utah.

In Tower of Strength, Tabitha married young, became pregnant almost immediately—and is widowed just two months after her wedding. She spends the next six years hundreds of miles away, building a life for herself and her son. When her hometown’s newspaper owner offers Tabitha the Sanpitch Sentinel, she decides to return home.

But things aren’t easy for her there. She has to see her bitter former mother-in-law regularly, she faces opposition to a woman owning the paper as well as the stories she’s printing, and she undertakes breaking a wild horse. Meanwhile, she develops feelings for the newly-widowed Samuel Barnett—but she struggles to let herself rely on anyone else after her first husband’s death left her abandoned. Samuel, too, has to work through his own problems as he learns a whole new trade with unpredictable animals—and finds himself falling in love only months after losing his beloved wife.

The characters in Tower of Strength are complex and well-rounded. I think the only thing that detracted for me in the book was the fact that I didn’t really “feel” like Samuel was English. He “sounded” just as Western as the other characters—though maybe if I’d read his passages in an English accent, he might have sounded more accurate 😉 . It could also be a time period thing.

What do you think? How many little speech patterns does it take to convey a character is from another culture? How much is too much?

Spires of Stone by Annette Lyon – Review

I’m catching up on my Summer Reading Thing reviews today, and we’ll be back on the website reviews soon!

Spires of Stone is a retelling of Much Ado about Nothing—a story of false accusations, slander, verbal sparring, making amends and forgiveness.

I was most surprised by how much I remembered of Much Ado—Annette used not only the plot lines (though she did change them slightly and eliminated a few characters), but also the actual lines from the play. (I’ve seen the play live once, six years ago I think, and the Kenneth Brannagh movie maybe three times in my life—had no idea I’d remember all that! Oh, and I think I might’ve seen the opera Beatrice and Benedick. . . . Maybe it’s not so surprising after all.)

My favorite parts were the scenes where Claude (Claudio) and Phillip (Don Pedro) are conspiring to trick Ben (Benedick) into admitting his feelings for Bethany (Beatrice) (and Hannah (Hero) and Marie (Margaret/Ursula, here) conspiring to do the same favor for Bethany). I especially loved how Benedick’s and Beatrice’s lines from those scenes translated into their internal monologue.

In all, I thought this was a good adaptation of a classic. Of course, Annette changed some of the plot for her characters—notably, they don’t pretend Hannah is dead just to make Claude pay. I was thinking maybe this wouldn’t work in fiction anyway—after all, in a play, there’s a lot less suspension of disbelief. You don’t have to stop and think, “Would someone really believe a falsely-accused woman could die of shame?” because it’s happening right before your eyes—and not even on a TV or movie screen, but with real people (even though you know it’s not real, there’s some evidence that our brains aren’t quite smart enough to differentiate between simulated reality and reality).

What do you think? Does fiction have to be more “believable” than drama, especially live-acted drama?