Tag Archives: editing

Editing to Streamline and Strengthen Your Story

I always try to edit my books to streamline and strengthen my prose. Here are my best techniques.

Set a goal

Maybe you really just want to tighten your story, so you don’t have a specific number goal. I think you should set one anyway. Hopefully you’ve learned how wordy you tend to be and how wordy your voice should be, so you can adjust your goal accordingly.

My goal was dictated by word count—I wanted the third book in the series to be close to the length of the first. That gave me 7000 words to cut over 300 pages, an average of 24 words per page (always round up; you can’t count cutting part of a word).

I wanted to give myself a cushion for smoothing rewrites and for pages that were already pretty tight, so I made my goal 30 words a page. When I move to the next page, I check the document word count and try to knock it down by 30. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t, sometimes I blow it away, but it gives me a specific goal to shoot for and stretch for rather than just cutting “some” words.

Highlight your weak, empty &/or echo words

I use a macro to do this, and I love it. I’ve set it up to color code “empty” words. Words that can often be cut entirely are “highlighted” in black, making them invisible. If the sentence reads just as well without it, I can cut that word. Sequencing words like before/after/while/as are in dark blue. A lot, a little, pretty, etc. are in another color. Suddenly, finally and slowly are flagged in red. The macro also turns several pronouns orange (text color) so I can make sure I’m using the strongest possible words. You might also highlight “because, “since” and “so that,” as telling flags. This doesn’t include the 60 words I track to monitor emotions, visceral reactions, body language and overused words I want to track by comparing the full sentences.

This does highlight a lot of things that I don’t need to highlight (because I haven’t gotten down the “whole words only” option yet), like “AS much AS” or “adJUSTment,” but because I’m going to be reading every page, it’s okay.

When I finish working with a page, I take out the highlighting and text color changes. Then if I scroll past it, I know it’s done.

Go page by page

Why go in random order? Sometimes it’s easy to start reading and following the story. This way, I can’t get sucked into the story and forget to edit closely. I use Random.org to randomize my page numbers.

The longer explanation of the process: I use Excel. I put “1” in A1 and fill the cells in a series to make a list of my page numbers, 1 to 300 or whatever. Then I have Random.org generate a list of random numbers, 1 to whatever (should be at least as high as your page count, but can be higher) in one column. I cut and paste that list into column B of the spreadsheet. I select both columns and sort the range by column B.

Why don’t I just use Random.org’s list? True random numbers will skip some digits and duplicate others, so some pages will be skipped. This way makes sure every page is on the list.

Of course, my page count goes down as I do this. If I cut a page off chapter 4, all the subsequent pages are shifted up, right? So sometimes, especially as I approach the last quarter of the edit, my random page has already been edited, I scroll until I can find one that still has those highlighted words from the previous step.

The actual editing

As I mentioned above, some of the first things I look at are empty, overused and commonly misused words.

Contractions

These are words that can be distilled, reduced or cut altogether without altering meaning.

  • Try to/and (technically it should be try to, not try and, but try and is very common in speech)
  • start to, begin to
  • Reach for
  • was going to >> would/will
  • to be able to >> could/can
  • at him, to her, for me, especially if there are only two people in the scene.
  • Now, right now (can be especially awkward in past tense)
  • Seems to, looks like >> well, does it?
  • And, and then, but. Do these clauses belong together? Do they HAVE to be together (choppiness is a valid reason to join them).
  • Of him, of it, of yours >> his X, its Y, your Z.
  • The _A_ to the _B__ >> B’s A
  • have to have >> need
  • figure out where/what Q is >> find Q
  • that
  • that is/are/was/were

Progressive & paraphrastic tenses

Stacked prepositions

Usually one of these is redundant.

  • Out of (from?)
  • Off of
  • down on (write it down on, sit down on)
  • over to
  • Rephrasing to avoid prepositions–I gave the book to him. I gave him the book.

Evil phrases

These empty phrases don’t mean anything and just pad the word count. They can usually be cut:

  • In order to >> to
  • The fact that (cut)
  • at this point

Null subjects

Null or dummy subjects are common in English, but they can create weak sentences:

  • There was/were, It was, Those/These were
  • There were four men in the room. Four men stood in/ringed the room.

Unnecessary subjects

This is very dependent on the genre and voice, but you might be able to get away with cutting unnecessary subjects, such as in dialogue. “Are you going to the party?” in real life might end up “You going?” or “Going to the party?”

Redundancy

  • Nodded his head up and down
  • shook his head no
  • the driver in the front seat (obviously they sat in a seat)
  • the smile on his face (where else do you smile?)

Semantically empty phrases

This is one of my favorite places to cut. I have a tendency to have a lot of commentary, shades of meaning, hints of backstory. That can be great, but it can also really start to weigh down the story. I try to look critically at a lot of these phrases. Can readers infer that if someone’s holding the elevator for the POV character, it’s “for me to catch up” (and cut those 5 words)? Do we need all of the info in “We weren’t planning on a Russian side trip when we packed, so our heavy winter gear is back home” or will “We didn’t pack for a Russian side trip” convey the message and the humor a lot better? (With 11 fewer words.)

One word or two

Use a dictionary you trust (I use Merriam-Webster Online) and check to see if you’ve got your words right. Is back seat one word or two? Back up? As a verb, adjective or noun?

POWER writing

This edit isn’t just to make the book shorter. I’m doing it to make the book stronger. Following Margie Lawson’s advice, I’m adding rhetorical devices and power words. I’m tweaking the cadence, moving words to more powerful positions and creating more vivid imagery. I have lists of rhetorical devices on my screen, chosen by what effect I’m going for in the scene.

Sometimes this adds words, sometimes it takes them away. To go back to my above example, I decided “side trip” was weak, and settled on “detour” instead—cutting another word and ending the paragraph on the more powerful alternative.

What do you think? What ways have you found to streamline and strengthen your writing?

Fix-It Friday: watch those prepositional phrases

Prepositional phrases can be tricky. I’ve found a few ways they can really trip up writers and change the meaning of otherwise fine sentences. One of those ways: the simple order of prepositional phrases. When they become misplaced modifiers, prepositional phrases throw a money wrench in your sentence’s meaning. fif

What’s wrong with these sentences?

Why would she share the secret he’d confided in her in the hall with her parents?

He remembered the dog he’d found as he was walking in the apartment across the street.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas.

A man was bitten by a bat walking down the street on his thumb.

She couldn’t believe he was standing there after their conversation yesterday on the sidewalk.

Notice that often the problem is using multiple modifiers or more than one prepositional phrase. As we stack the phrases, we have to be sure the meaning doesn’t get lost, or we’ll leave our readers like these characters from Clue:

So how would you fix them? Next week!

Photo credits: tools—HomeSpot HQ

Upping your tension, scene-by-scene

In my presentation on structural self-editing, I mention that one column of the scene chart in particular helped to make my story better: the tension column. So when I stumbled across a post on how to use that tension column in my archives, I knew I had to share!

When you’re editing yourself, it can be hard to see which of your scenes are low in tension. For tension, a scene-level edit is a definite must. For each scene, ask yourself:

  • Character’s goal: Is it clearly stated or irrefutably implied? (That scene goal in the scene chart thing? Yep. Plus, a scene chart and/or spreadsheet is a really convenient here.)
  • Bring on the conflict: Can/should I cut to where the conflict for that goal starts? Is that the worst conflict I could use here?
  • Bring out the conflict: Have I stated why this is a difficult/delicate situation?
  • Length: Is the scene an appropriate length for its significance? (That applies to both word count and the passage of time in the scene.)
  • Setting: Could another setting lend more tension to this scene?
  • Purpose: Does this move the story forward? Is my reason for having this scene good enough to justify this scene, or any scene at all?
  • Ending: Does the scene end with a disaster for my POV character’s goal? Do we cut away at the worst possible moment, something that will induce the reader to find out what happens next?
  • Finally, rating: as Noah Lukeman recommends in The Plot Thickens, rate the scene tension on a scale of 1 to 10.

Another method here is to read the story backwards, scene-by-scene. Or, I guess, you could jump around as long as you made sure you covered everything. That way, you know each scene will stand on its own—but if you change anything important, especially near the beginning, you’ll just have to go through and fix all that again. (Which can cut both ways, of course.)

Of course, this whole method requires brutal honesty. No rating a scene higher because your heroine gets off a few zingers, no keeping a scene that doesn’t serve any real purpose because it has that beautiful paragraph that it took you a month to write. Cut and paste your favorite parts (or the whole scene) into another document and you never have to actually “lose” anything.

Finding and fixing low tension scenes is just the beginning of making sure your story keeps your readers hooked. Tomorrow we’ll look at finding problems with the overarching suspense in your story. (Gulp!)

What do you think? What do you look for to find low-tension scenes?

Photo credit: Samuraijohnny

More resources on gesture crutches

gesture crutchesLast week, I gave a class at the LDStorymakers Conference on gesture crutches. You can find my presentation here, but today I’m sharing the resources I cited in class!

Books on the topic

Blog posts on gesture crutches

The bulk of my presentation came from my own blog posts, especially my series on gesture crutches: finding gesture crutches (the macro code), tracking & changing gesture crutches and strategies to fix the top 10 gesture crutches.

You can find John Gilstrap quoting his editor, Michaela Hamilton, here.

Other resources

Courses by Margie Lawson including Empowering Characters’ Emotions and Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues opened my eyes to gesture crutches and started me on the path to take my writing to the next level!

Gesture crutches presentation

Saturday at the 2014 LDStorymakers Conference, I got to present on gesture crutches! So many wonderful friends turned out at 8 AM, or sat on the floor or even stood to listen to this presentation—thank you! IF YOU WERE IN THE CLASS AND DID NOT GET THE EMAIL SIGNUP SHEET TO RECEIVE CLASS FILES, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW!

So, what are gesture crutches?

Smiling, nodding, laughing, sighing, frowning—they’re all the little gestures we use every day to convey meaning, and they can creep into every page of our writing. These overused actions quickly become flat clichés, sapping your story’s power. Come learn how to find these common “gesture crutches,” discover new strategies to fix them, and use the smallest gestures to personalize your characters.

How do we do this? Check out my presentation to learn more, and be sure to stay tuned for more resources tomorrow!

More structural self-editing resources

Yesterday I shared my presentation on structural self-editing from the 2014 LDStorymakers conference, and today I’m sharing some more resources on the subject—enough to keep you busy for quite a while!

Books I referenced

Blog posts

Other resources

Seven-point story structure by Dan Wells on YouTube—each video is about 10 minutes

What are your favorite resources on story structure?

Tomorrow: my presentation on gesture crutches!

 

Structural self-editing!

Last week was the 2014 LDStorymakers conference. I truly can’t pick a “best” moment—it was all fantastic, especially being with my “people.” But definitely among the top 10 would be teaching classes!

Friday at the LDStorymakers writing conference, I taught a class on structural self-editing. I managed to get through all the material and sound fairly coherent, I hope—but the best part was how many people wanted to learn more about the topic! Every seat was full and many wonderful people were willing to sit on the floor and crane their necks.

IF YOU WERE IN THE CLASS AND DID NOT GET THE EMAIL SIGNUP SHEET TO RECEIVE CLASS FILES, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW! I don’t think the signup made it even halfway around the room, and I do really want to share the class files with you! I’ll send the files out this week, but with so many people signed up I’ll have to send out the files in batches.

More about the class:

After a first draft, do you have a solid story or . . . not quite? A structural edit enables you to refine your individual scenes and guide your work on the highest level. Discover how to build strong narrative structure, create a resonant theme, and craft an unputdownable story through the structural self-editing process. Before you start polishing your prose, tap into the power of these vital editing tools to get your whole novel on the right course.

If you couldn’t make it the conference, you can check out my Prezi presentation below:

Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing more resources on structural self-editing!

Finding your weaknesses

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Becoming a better writer

When we first start writing, we often have . . . well, delusions of grandeur, to put it gently. We think our prose is the most mind-blowing thing to happen to books since Gutenberg.

Yeeeah, probably not. And that’s okay. When you’re first starting out, you often need that kind of enthusiasm and even pride to get going. It has its place—but it’s only useful if you can get past it.

WEAKDiscovering that you’re not, actually, the next Shakespeare is the first step. Once you really want to improve, you have to figure out where you need to work on next. Assessing your own weaknesses can be a challenge, but it’s an important part of becoming a better writer.

Reading

A writer should be a reader. Can you imagine a premiere chef who ate the same dinner—spaghettios and bagged salad—every night? That sounds ridiculous! We all recognize that a chef must cultivate his or her palate.

Reading functions a lot like eating for writers, and not just that we might die without either of them 😉 . There are other good reasons—you can identify tropes, trends and clichés;s, you can tell what you like and don’t in techniques, you can get great ideas. But possibly the most important reason a writer needs to read is to cultivate a literary “palate.”

We must learn to recognize good, “strong” writing and storytelling. At the very least, this is what I described on Janice Hardy’s blog last month as “technically solid writing that engages your emotions, tells a well-structured story, and doesn’t get in the way of connecting with the characters.” To understand this, you need to see good writing in action.

Another bonus: filling your head with other characters and plot lines and words can help to move your words out of the short- and medium-term memory banks, giving you fresh eyes for your own words again.

Time

First and foremost, you need to take time away from your writing. I know I often need to forget parts of a story, or the aspects of a character, or the individual words and sentences I crafted to create that story before I can look at them objectively. Some writers recommend weeks away from a story; others say months.

The exact time limit depends on you, and how well you already know your story. If you pounded it out in a matter of days (no judgments there!), and set it aside for two weeks, that might already be long enough. If you labored over it for six months, I’m guessing there may be some pieces in there you’ve already forgotten, but a good rest of a couple months or more will help give you fresh eyes.

Longer than six months drafting? Get started on your next draft and come back to this one when you’re done.

Eventually, with practice, you might learn to be less attached to your plot lines and characters, and you can judge their weaknesses more quickly.

Outside eyes

Possibly the biggest help would have to be good beta readers and critique partners. As far more impartial readers who want to help you make your story better (we hope), they have a vested interest in helping you eliminate all the weaknesses. They aren’t as attached to your story and your characters, so they are better at identifying places that don’t do much to move the story forward—the parts where their attention starts wandering. (Also helpful: the parts where they don’t know what you’re talking about.)

More writing

I love this example author Michelle Davidson Argyle shared here last year. Once, early in her career, her skill level seemed to be stagnant, despite working hard to improve and edit her work. Eventually, she decided to write a new manuscript, and she realized that was exactly what she needed to do to get better. She concluded (emphasis mine):

I’ve found that the more novels I complete, the more I learn and the better I get. The longer I spend on one novel doesn’t seem to get me nearly as far. I am not expanding my mind to different ways of thinking, different characters, different viewpoints, and different ways of experimenting with structure and telling a story. For me, at least, only new projects have been able to do that.

Amen!

An objective, complete read

Once I’ve taken the time to regain some objectivity, finally, one of the most important editing techniques I use is to give a draft—and hopefully each draft—an objective (you know, kinda), complete read, from start to finish.

This may work a bit differently for you, but when I do this, I also forbid myself to change things as I read. I’m allowed to fix typos and make notes (comments in Word), but I’m not allowed to get bogged down in fixing a problem I see right now. I make a note of it and move on, keeping up the momentum so I can get a better view of the manuscript as a whole.

As you read, you’ll begin to notice patterns—in your writing, in your critique partners’ comments. Do you tell and then show, or vice versa? Do you tend to use summary to move things along? Do you have characters that sound the same? Do your emotions need more depth, your plot need more twists, your characters need more conflict and growth? Where does your writing fall short of what you’ve learned is “good” from cultivating your palate?

You found a weakness. Now you know where to grow!

Check out my tips to becoming a better writer—and be sure to join my email newsletter, where we’ll take this tip to the next level this week!

Photo credit: Brooke Novak